Not For Me!


People are captivating in their diversity. Thankfully, people are different from one another. We do have to know which differences we can accept, and which ones we can’t.


I don’t really believe that people change in their essence, so it is very important to know what I accept or don’t in someone. In certain aspects, some can adapt themselves through the interference of other people, but not change. Having said that, I am left with this sad reality: either we are fit for someone or we don’t.


I believe I know my own self very well. My feelings are deeply rooted, but eventually, with time, they go away. I am not frivolous. If I were, it would be so simple! But I own a very passionate and faithful mind. Even so, one day, some feelings that today I believe to be real will turn into nothing.


The easy way to get rid of deep feelings is starting to believe that what someone has to offer is not what I am looking for. There are things that simply don’t work for me.


Egoism is one of them. Being a little self-centered myself, I am used to people who are very perceptive to my needs. I usually don’t have to tell what these needs are. If people don’t perceive them, I just walk away without paying them a single bit of attention. If I bother to tell or show my needs, it’s because that person is very important to me. A rarity, indeed!


I can understand other people needs if they understand mine, and put them in a priority list. The contrary doesn’t work!


I am not a hunter in relational terms. Give and take, only as an exchange between people, because if it’s coming from the same person it’s pretty confusing. I am emotionally too independent for that. I know what I want and if the other is not capable of delivering, then it’s not for me. Period.


Negativity is the last aspect I shall mention in this rather confusing relationship wrap up. As most of the people, I need positive stimulus from others. I love to do positive gestures, only because I like them so much for myself. In great part, it’s thanks to them that I keep going.


I know that there are people with positive reactions to negativity. I am not like that. Negative messages put me away, being it directly negative or just perceived as negative. They don’t work for me. They just make me pack and go.


There is a particular aspect of negativity bothering me more than anything else: rudeness. Rude people, as I’ve told before, are not my kind. Emotional circumstances can excuse some dose of rudeness, but one can tell when it’s about emotions or a typical behavior.


I am not that sort of person painting in gold a dirty wall. I just paint gold where gold already is. Sometimes I got mistaken and think it is gold what in reality is a very different tone. It takes time to correct a mistake. For a start, I have to recognize it as a mistake. But when I start to realize it, I can go back and use the proper color. That’s who I am. For those still wondering.