It Might Be Boring Too

 

At first it was a recollection of a few odd moments I could not give a general sense. And after I tried it might have turned into another boring text about dieting and weight. Maybe dieting and weight are supposed to be simply boring. Anyway, I’ve done what I could. I won’t give up trying to write something funny about dieting. Meantime, and confessing my limitations, I deliver the result of my mission in the form of Ten Commandments on Dieting and Weight Issues.

 

Nobody Really Cares
I told someone who doesn’t eat most edible stuff in order to keep skinny: “I guess I gained 2kg per month during three months of tae bo interregnum…” A shadow of sheer panic crossed her face while she answered something like this: “Imagine if it was longer!” No doubt her panic wasn’t for Seabell’s fate. She only confirmed what I know for quite sometime and now figures as number one commandment: If you don’t care about yourself, nobody really will.

 

The Way You Are
Yes, I have a surplus of 6kgs since November 2008. (I feel like I am admitting a crime. How do you plead? Guilty, your honor!) I cannot blame on my tae bo teacher long holidays because: 1) She was in Italy (and somehow she managed to be back). 2) I stopped my daily walks for reasons too complicate to describe. 3) I have a mille-feuille addiction and the patisserie employees seem to be “addicted” to me (I might explain why one of these days). 4) Due to various reasons, my life in general changed to a quieter pace. 5) Despite all that, my motto still is: no pain, no gain.

 

Paul has been a little critical towards my extra kgs as if I had some kind of fat problem to deal with, what is hilarious coming from him. Because I don’t walk he stopped too and as walking it is the only exercise he consequently pursues, I can only imagine how much weight he is storing right now. Because of that I was at first bikini shy while in Ponta do Ouro, only to discover that what is too much for one can be too just for some. Here is number two: Whatever your weight might be, there’s always someone fancying you just the way you are.

 

Get a New One
It’s almost impossible to turn your back to the pressures around you. They seem to come from everywhere. The first and most important pressure you have to deal with is your own. If you have to lose weight, lose it with a good purpose and stress free. If the pressure comes from elsewhere (husband, friends, job or even magazines you read), simply follow my third rule: If necessary, get a new husband, new friends or a new job.

 

Reason Works Fine
For me it’s easier to keep my ideal weight by exercising than by cutting the mille-feuilles out. I am addicted to both though. The results of exercising give me as much joy as thousand mille-feuilles, and the good of it is that right after I am usually too tired even to eat. That’s no pain, no gain working for me.

 

On the contrary, Paul, who is even more sedentary than gourmand, swears by: “If you want to lose weight, you have to keep your month shut.” Starving seems to be a reachable goal, one he never follows.

 

Where do we stand? We stand right in front of number four: Don’t kill yourself tired. Don’t starve yourself. Being reasonable works better than any other harsh dieting approach.

 

Be Your Guru
Recently I’ve done one of these know all about your health kind of exams. Thirty minutes later I was paying for supplements intending to save my blood from free radicals, sugar and a few other unwanted residents. The first capsule I tried caused me such migraine I would never gather the courage to repeat. A week later, TD described precisely the same experience, step by step, including the huge migraine. How I regret the money I could happily spend someway else. The usual standards of quality for most are sometimes not enough for some.

 

I have not one but two gurus. One is my South African nutritionist. Someone I talk with for more than ten years. She is the only one I really trust, and when I forget this I bitterly regret it. Besides good advice, she sells a friendly brand while she repeats over and over: “You can skip anything, Seabell, but your Omega3!”

 

My second guru is my tae bo teacher, a lady suffering from contagious energy. Sometimes we just need someone capable of making us feel good and keeping us going. This leads to my fifth commandment: If you cannot afford or find a good guru, you have to be one yourself. What a challenge for you!

 

Don’t Take It Too Seriously
I have a new tae colleague who has some coordination problems. She moves the wrong way, she kicks with the wrong leg, she picks the wrong rhythm… Do you think she cares? Not a single bit. She can be the worst of us, yet she is having fun and that is what counts. In terms of exercising and eating right, what really matters is: Whatever you have to do to change your lifestyle and improve your health, do it for fun.

 

Discover Yourself
If you start to care about yourself (notice that I am not only telling exercising and dieting), you will discover a world of new things about yourself. Be it physically or mentally, you can be a lot more than what you already are. If you learn to eat healthy, you might discover flavors all over again. I’ve been attending tae bo classes for a couple of years now and I still discover parts of my body that have been sleeping ever since. When last did I used this one? Maybe when I was a toddler.

 

If you keep attentive, you might discover a new bit about yourself every single day. This one is simple and so many times told: Keep discovering hiding potential and dimensions about yourself.

 

Keep it Real
It’s so easy to go sky high or fall drain down when the matter is self-image! A look or a compliment can send us to heaven in our worst looking days, while any deception is capable to put us down when we are at our best. The only way to avoid this kind of ups and downs is: Build a strong self-image by liking your real you.

 

Mounting Contradictions
In terms of fashion, fitness and dieting, our society is full of contradictions. Don’t get confused and remember this one: Follow what sounds sensible to you… Stick with what works for you.

 

Be Incredibly Happy
I don’t know where and how, but you have to find your own reasons to be happy. This is the main rule to succeed in any other purpose you set for yourself.

 

If the above repeat by chance what someone already said I do apologize. Being a result of my own experiences, it’s understandable that many others can reach the same conclusions. I also apologize to the Ten Commandments author, but it looks like dixitism comes in packs of ten.

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2 thoughts on “It Might Be Boring Too

  1. Some of those match my own philosophy on a healthy lifestyle… Like it or not as long as one eats, one is on a diet – some are good some are bad, some are planned and some not. Therefore, I prefer to call it living a healthy balanced life.

  2. Yes, I cannot think life without food. It would be a waste. The issue is the equilibrium some people find so hard to keep. I wanted to write something funny and light, but it became long and normative. I think I have to exercise my conciseness, but I guess I am writing more because I am still enjoying book writing holidays.

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