Chinese Massages

I was kind of pushed into Chinese massages and went for it ‘cause my blood gets a little lazy now and then, here and there. I arrived with “improving circulation” on my mind but soon I agreed to a full body massage.

My masseur is a Chinese male doctor with a bird-like presence and a name evoking a really bad W word. He communicates in English using three sentences only and an admirable number of gradations:

“Good.”
“Bad.”
“So, so.”

He also says this onomatopoeia to signal any area with stress: “Crac, crac, crac!”

I really like his leg massages. Crac free massages. All good and so, so. But the day he applied his best skills to a full body massage it felt like he was reading me inside out. Pointing a body calendar, he said “bad” three times: bad breast, bad eyes and bad stressed brain.

That wasn’t a surprise. A couple of years ago I hurt a muscle crossing my left breast. It was okay until the massage itself. It only surfaced in consequence of all the energy he put into rubbing my back. So I’ve been fooled thinking it was gone and now I’m glad to know it’s still there. At least I (he?) can do something about it.

I know my eyes have been saying ‘It’s time to new contact lenses as the border of the old ones doesn’t allow proper breathing.’ I am taking care of that too.

Finally, he invaded my brain. I hated it! I need a stressed brain! I couldn’t live with a different one. A lazy brain??!! It felt like brain reading, the way he pressed two or three different spots. Finally, he managed to ask me with a really curious (alarmed?) tone of voice: ‘What do you do for a living?’ And I was thinking he could only manage three sentences!!!

After my February full body massage, I listed any known reason to be stressed about: 1) The unruly way my female dog walks. 2) Not having enough money for the outdoors home makeover I’ve been planning. 3) Slow computers, even brand new. 4) Wouldn’t you stress over dentist appointments? And they happen regularly, at least once or twice a year! There’s no escape route!

Listing my current worries made me conclude that my Chinese masseur might be mistaking busy brain for stress.

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