The New Shy

They say women are attracted to shy guys and I have to believe in it since women are attracted to all types of available and unavailable guys. I have a serious purpose of using fewer words and tell meaningful things, so I shall not fall into the temptation of discoursing about typologies. I just want to say you should be aware of a new type of guy. This type was born with the latest computer technologies and is spreading fast. If he belongs to the shy type, chances are that he is dreaming of becoming a “new shy”. I’ll give just an example because I am so lucky (ouch!) that I recently stumbled into two of them (at least).

I met the second years ago, in real life. He is not a planetary star, like actor Dustin Hoffman or singer Bono, but he is pretty close. He is good looking, loved and talented. We never touched by chance. We touched on purpose. By then I didn’t know he was a star and started to talk with him about music. Just by chance. He reminded me of someone I know. He was waiting for friends at a café and I, just arrived from a fashion Mecca, was full of myself. I was so reassured of my charms (something rare to feel) that I started to flirt with him (something we all like to do). I truly didn’t know he was famous by then. Someone informed me minutes after we stopped talking and I was completely indifferent to that. I had been flirting with him and knew more than his fame and talent. I knew he was very shy.

During our conversation he showed the average reactions of a shy guy. He was very nice and polite but lacked the usual manifestations of the male specimen. I was so convinced of his shyness that even when I discovered whom he was it never crossed my mind to think his shyness was defensive to protect him from adoring fans. Between other idiosyncrasies, shy guys have a way of hiding their true nature under approachability. They are so affable and serviceable that we soon feel like we are using our best charms in vain. They are friends, not lovers. Women know when they have a shy guy in front and I believe those who are attracted to them it’s because they don’t know what is beneath that shyness and they want to know it. So let me tell you what I believe: beneath a shy guy, in the best case scenario, is a guy like any other guy or, in the worst case, you will soon discover a poisonous snake.

Years later our paths crossed again. Thanks to computer technology, his shyness was nowhere to be seen. He tried to flirt with me, imagine! Completely unaware that I knew about the real him, he used his non-existing charms with me. I had once studied, scrutinized and qualified him. It was like talking with someone with two faces. Besides, this second “new shy” was a copy of the first I had met. They seem to go to the same school these days, a bad one since they repeat precisely the same act. How “original” and “exciting” is that!? We don’t have to worry if we lose a husband, a boyfriend or a lover because the next one is going to be the same.

I am indifferent to shyness in the sense that shy doesn’t belong to my list of priorities. “New shy” number two is still very nice and polite. That is his true nature and whatever he does and says it shows up. It’s just his relational shyness that is well disguised. Technology gave him (them) the tools to overcome whatever they lack and they secretly stalk like males in constant heat.

For whatever reasons, he wasn’t successful with me. He was sincere, thought, and that belongs to my priorities. He said he is only looking for inspiration and summer adventure, what usually translates as: even though I am married, I want to play. After failing with me he decided to stalk a different timetable, one unfriendly to winter severities, while summer days last. It’s the usual European “new shy” behavior. Politely, as always, he asked if he stood any chance with me. Politely, as I always try to be, I answered no. The question with those “new shy” is that they don’t look for a specific relationship. They look for any woman they meet so that they can prove (to themselves), again and again, their fake male bravery.