The last ballet class with my missed teacher was a very sad moment. I wasn’t there simply. I said goodbye crying and I wasn’t the only one. Above all I regretted spoiling that opportunity to make her proud.
Soon we shall be dancing with a different teacher. Changes. Life and death. Renovation. Something turns into something else. Maybe in the end I will realize that somewhere in the world someone is about to be born and receive this same umber that could never be a flame and I’ll feel happy to go because I expect that person to take that flame and set the world on fire (in a positive manner). We can only accept definitive change if we believe that someone else is capable of shining and making dreams come true.
Don’t get me wrong. I am not feeling down at all. I look forward to the new phase of ballet. I’ve been doing what my horoscope suggested: “You need order in your life. Your energies are disorganised. Redesign your carrier so it takes you somewhere fabulous. You’ll need some balance before you proceed. Sleep. Eat. Ignore advice. You are the best judge of your own life.” (Thinking of it, isn’t eating and sleeping the best renovation exercise? Because, after all, that is what babies basically do.)
Actually, the eat-sleep regime suffered a setback since I was
oddly birdly reminded that summer is here and I have many things (pleasant things) to accomplish. A while ago I started summer by throwing away most nail shades. Let’s just say I know the shades I like and don’t care which shades are in fashion. My second summer gesture aimed a small group of knee-length dresses I keep for unexpected weddings invitations, what is becoming more and more infrequent. This is the result of my second summer investment: 1) I have one winter wedding-like dress only, if I’m not wrong from a Brazilian name. I wear it once a year, just to check if I still like it. This one has no problems to report. It has a nice matching purse and at least 2 or 3 compatible shoes. 2) I never felt comfortable with this dotted dress because it came with a black accessory I absolutely hate. To avoid the transparency I have to get something new to wear underneath and finally enjoy this dress I picked for Jo’s wedding and tried a couple of times at home. It’s French and not that expensive. 3) I wore this pink and black dotted dress twice: a birthday anniversary and at home. I keep it just because it fits me so well. 4) This aqua dress is from a South African designer. I wore it 3 or 4 times during summer 2010 and now it belongs to my potential wedding dresses. 5) If I want to keep this golden silk dress from another South African designer, I have to change it. Paul loves it and it is the most expensive dress of this group. I am still having fun with these 5 dresses and the accessories to go with them. Two years ago I discovered that I lose quite some time just picking the right underwear to go with a particular dress. It is quite helpful to list the best options, a project I’ve been postponing up to now. This is in short what I’ve been doing recently.
Even though I feel tempted to rate this need to be futile as the best of September, I am not doing it. My futility doesn’t deserve it, really. In fact, I was eating and sleeping when I looked out of a window and spotted a bird contemplating the most promising summer day. That bird pulled me out of the eating & sleeping. The bird deserves to be the best. Definitively.