Everywhere I look I only see work, things to do. I feel like I was pushed into the ocean. I am not drowning but there’s no land at sight. One of the things I put myself into is going through old files and newspapers. My drive: if not important, get rid of it.
Two days ago I was feeling good just because the newspapers confirmed something I often forget: no job is too hard for me. Not long ago I was producing a weekly newspaper almost alone. I open such newspaper and it’s impossible to read a page without finding something I wrote. I don’t even talk about editing because no word was printed without my blessing.
I know I wouldn’t do the same these days. It’s not that I don’t feel the same energy, I just don’t want to kill myself in the process. I’ve been learning that working too hard is not clever. Last Sunday, for instance, I worked like hell. The following day I couldn’t move one finger. It would make sense to work less one day and more the other.
Even though I recognize I could have done a lot more, I’ve been facing three obstacles. The first one is Andy and the need I feel to put him where he belongs. The second is the staff. The guards are fighting a schedule war that is going to end in blood for one side or the other, meaning, I’ll have to send one of them away pretty soon. There’s also a general negativity that I’ve been feeling for more than two years and I relate more to the house itself than to people or circumstances. I suppose I could be precise in terms of time, if I went through my posts. But I don’t have time and all I want is to stop it. Usually, I solve this sort of negative circle by doing a very positive action. Yesterday a friend told me about burning some secret herb to neutralize negativity. Let me tell you, right now I am up to all sort of solutions!