The way we relate with others is very important in terms of what we are. It’s an expression of our personality. Mine is very strong and very logical.
This is how I see things: people are important to me but I see them as a compact mass from where a few stand, from time to time, gaining a temporary relevance in my life. I am kind and respectful towards people, either individually or as an indistinct part of the already mentioned mass.
And then there’s the one I love, the only one I cannot regard the same way I regard all the others. But before speaking about the one I love, I have to speak a little bit about me. Just like any mortal creature, I have the usual problems and worries. In spite of that, I describe myself as a happy person living a happy life. Most of the time I live immersed in a strong sensation of happiness. That is how I live alone.
And then… there’s me living with someone I love. Even when in love with someone, my strong and logical mind doesn’t go away. I easily spot a boyfriend whose arms close and expects mine to remain wide open. This could be nothing if he accepted that I close my own arms, but no. He expects me to stay put as if nothing had happened.
And then… he is deeply hurt and disappointed just because I don’t accept someone that displeases me at my side. I’ll do everything I can, including burying me if necessary, to keep the one I love far if I don’t want to be with him. If someone hurts me, I just want to be far from that someone. There are those who cry, those who scream and those who hurt back… I just want to be alone. Back to the logical me: if I am already happy, why on earth should I want to be with someone that doesn’t add to my happiness?
The quote is mine: If you don’t exist to make me happy, better not to exist at all.